Worst Mega Man X Fanfic Ever
by rocketknight
Summary: A series of horribly written stories for one to wallow around in like the pigs that they are. Pure parody.
1. Episode 1: "^__^"

Worst Fanfic Ever (3/26/2)

A few notes before the reader proceeds:  
1. This is a pure parody. If the reader finds offense from this, then they need serious help.  
2.   
3. There is no #2.  
4. Fun fact: I took me five minutes to conjure this up. No joke!

Have fun...I-I think.

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"Uhgh" whimpered Yakasa as Zero Omega, the Crimson Hunter, the Red Warrior, the Blond Phoenix removed himself from the small repliroid. It was X's first time, and he hurt all over. "Zero..........." he began, but Zero said "Ai Shiteru" and silenced the small repliroid with a kiss.

~***~

"What's new?" shouted Douglas as Zero entered the MHHQ, his long blond hair flowing over his shoulder light pure golden rays of light. "Nothing much," said the red warrior as he turned to face Douglas, his eyes sparkling on his pretty face or whatever.

Douglas smiled. Suddenly, the alarm went off. Oh no! shouted Midi for he came out of nowhere. Zero dashed to the place where the alarm sound was coming from. When he arrived................................................................................................................................

"No!"

Half of the MHHQ was lit aflame. Maveriskc were everywhere, burning and trashing the whole place. Several hunters lay dead, including Alia, who was doing nothing but yelling and screaming earlier at the hunters to get them to fight.

Zero fought off many of the attackers. Suddenly it hit him...

_/Where is X, why cant I find him??\_

Where *Was* X Yakasa Gamma Light ??????????!!? 

_/Oh no, it cant be\_

"SIR! SIR!" shouted a surviving hunter. It was Nakohana, the hunter that was fighting for X's love from Zero for a long time. She was very strong, hell, even stronger than Zero. *Much* stronger. She had defeated Zero several times in battles and rose several ranks above him. She was strong, beautiful and reeked of chicken.

"Zero" she said, finally catching up with him and retracting her demon-like wings. "Have you seen X?" "No," said Zero, his blue eyes flashing around worriedly.

Suddenly...................................

"Is *this* what you were looking for?"  
IT was Vile. He had X...

_/No! X! Damn you, Vile!\_

...Tied up and thrown over his shoulder. Vile removed his helmet and revealed his long, green-black hair, and his red, cat-pupiled eyes and his giant cat ears. 

Zero scowled. "WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WITH X1!!1!" Zero shouted.

Vile smirked cooly and ran his hand trhough his hair with his free hand. "Nothing to truly harm him," he said before he leapt out the window, with X screaming for help.

"NO!!!" Zero yelled, but Nakohana, being all wise, super-intelligent, and reeking of chicken, grabbed Zero by the hair and stopped him in his tracks. "We have to *plan* first." she said.

~***~

Nakohana lay in bed with Zero. She smiled. His hand massaged her breast gently. She was so happy. She got to sleep with Zero now. Zero now loved Nakohana...

_/No...Wait, this is a *yaoi* fic! I musn't love Nakohana\_

Zero jumped out of bed screaming "YAKASA!!! I'M NOT GAY BUT I STILL LOVE YOU!!!!" and ran out of the window, quickly transforming into his shiney red armor. Nakohana followed, spreading her wings and flying out of the window in her own armor.

~***~

"NO" said X. Vile was trying to kiss him. "what's the matter, Ikusu?" he asked. "I'm Zero's! Only Zero's!" screamed X. "Yeah, whatever." said Vile as he reached down into X's jeans to stroke his pemis. "OH NOOOOO!" screamed X, as he couldn't contol his erection. "Nooooo don't do that to meeeee!" Vile was getting quite annoyed at X's resistance. He knew what Zero and X did...and how they fucked...

_/They fucked so madly oh my god I want a peice of that ass\_

..."NO!" screamed X once more before kicking Vile. Suddenly, The blond bishonen and Nakohana kicked their way inside, killing all of the mavericks and what not, and saving X. Vile sobbed in his broken down humility. "Zero..." said Vile. "How could you do this??!?!" 

Zero, X and Nakohana left the scene before the writer had to type anymore fighting stuff nifty whoohoo.

~***~

"Thank you for saving me," said the innocenty sweet X with his big sparkly emerald green eyes said to Zero, meeting his eyes with Zero's big blue handssome beuatiful eyes. Nakohana, who was all powerful, felt left out of this. "Aww!" said X. "You can come join, too! ^_^" and everyone was happy as they sexed up the night away.

~***~  
The End.

Author's Comments: OMG OMG LOL ^____________________^ I JUST LOVE THE YAOIS. I blame all this on Mountain Dew and Motor Oil at 4:30 in the morning (I wish I was joking.) NAKOHANA is like me because I want to do it with X and Zero at the same time while they get sexy on each other. Do you think that is wrong? I hope not because I JUST LOVE THE YAOIS. I had to kill Alia in the beginin because OMG I hate her so damn much! -_-;;; She makes me sooooo goddamn sick. She makes a lot of girls angry, ne? 

Yatta! Domo Arigato!

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REAL Author's Comments

What the fuck was I thinking? (poppy_eater@yahoo.com) 


	2. Episode 2: "MECHA SAYAJIN OK???"

Worst Fanfic Ever pt. 2

A few notes before the reader proceeds:  
1. This is a pure parody. If the reader finds offense from this, then they need serious help.  
2. Crossovers can be bad, mnkay?

Enjoy here your happy time!

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InnnnTroo  
My nameis is CrZeeJu5t1n. My gf worte a fic with her character Nakohana in it so I thought I try to write a better fic than her. its gonna rock bc mega man and dragon ball z stuff is in it yeah  
BTW my gf is named kawaii_sashimi or somethin

WARNING WARNING WARNIG

HIDDEN IN AN CAPSULE IN THE FUTRE LAY A DED ROBOT BY THE NAME OF MECHA SAIYAJIN. IT IS EVIL SAID THE WOMAN. OH NO SAD THE MAN. THEY RAN ALL OVER THE PLACE THE WERE SO SCARED OMG LOL

SUDDENLY, MECHA SAIJIN RISED FROM THE GROUND SCREAMING *RAR WHERES MY DADDY* AND THE LADY RAN AND SO THE MAN DID RAN TOO. 

MECHA SAYAGIN TORED UP THE CITY AND IT WAS NO MORE. THIS TOOK PLACE THIS YEAR IN NEW TOKOY, WICVH USED TO BE NEWYOURK CITY OKAY BECAUSE THE US SUX0RZ ??????????

*********21XX**********

X woke up and looked around he was lseeping in his capsule but he was up now ok?? So anyway, X got up and went to find Zero. Zero was yellking at NakoHana. They knew it was Nakohana b/c she smells like chikin.

So anyways, NakoHana says "Hey Zero" and Zero says "Hey Nako hana" says X. We have a mission today. "What?"

SUDDENLY

The alwamr went off. Zero and X and Nakohana went to the alarm where Alia, who was not dead n e more called them. "Boys" she said with her big ass tits, "There is trouble downtown in Neo Tokyo. Somone went to a mine and worke up the evil sleepimg monster in the park. it is called mecha Sayajin. I don't know the name of the monster.

OK WERE ON OUR WAY SAID ZERO as he rushed off to save the world with X and Nakohana. "Good luck' said Midi who came out of nowhere.

tthe came to the burning park the evil monster sayajin lay in x put on his super special shadow armor, and Zero pulled out his Z saber and started swingin it around and stuff. it rockerd. Nakohana used her super wingzz to shoot at ppl and it was the shit. then some stuff blew up.

NAkohana said: What now. and then Sayajin kidnaped her. "NOOOOOOOOO" shouted Zero cuz he loved Nakohana and he was not gay like my stupid girlfriend made him out 2 b. danm bitch. DONT U SAY NOTHIN ABOUT MY GF OR YOU SUCK

N E way, Zero and x were too weak to go fight the megca Sayajin. They asked Dr. Cain how to stop it. He said they had to go to Hong Kong and get some Drangom Balls from this dude name Goku. Yeah.

So they went and goku was fuckin' Chi Chi. Zero and X were watchin cuz they were horny and not gay, u see?

Goku sed. "Want to fuck my wife" and X said no cuz he was bein gay right now. Zero said sure and did her too. Chici dindt mind cuz she liked it all n e was. she was a slut. I want to do ehr so bad omg Im hard lol.

N E way, because rthey fucked chichi goku gaved them some gradon balls. "here" said Goku, "u can use thise to kill the mecha." X and Zero left to save Nakohana

They summond tthe dragon and said "Kill the mecha sayajin" as our wish. So it did. Nakoahana fell from the sky because mecha sayajin had her up there.

The balls went flying and x and Zeor coldnt find em n e mor.

The end

Did u like this is my first try. I hope you njoyed it. ;)

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REAL Author's Comments

???What? (poppy_eater@yahoo.com) 


	3. Episode 3: "Roses 4 U"

Worst Fanfic Ever pt. 3

A few notes before the reader proceeds into the depths that is my hellish sorry in the bottom pits of my vampiric heart:  
1. This publication is for humor only. One finding such misery and woe in this peice of work must be a superfical common human, and shall be banished from the soil that is the earth by the wicked angels of the heavens.  
2. The love between two robots is always headstrong. Or some bullshittery.  
And... ~*~ Have a rose ~~~~|@

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~:: Preface ::~

My name is dark_lady_morgana. I' m a friend of kawaii_sakimi and CrZeeJu5t1n's cousin. ^_^ I usually write fanfiction from anime, but I thought Forte and Dynamo from the Mega Man X games were hot (I think Forte is from Mega Man X). I wanted to do a nicely erotic and angsty fic including the two of them.

~:: Dark Morgana's rules before readers proceed ::~

1. This fic DOES INCLUDE yaoi. If you hate yaoi, turn back now.  
2. This fic has ANGST. If you hate these things, turn back now.  
3. This fic does not include Sakimi's character Nakohana. No offense, Sakimi, but I don't like your character. I like Lady Morgana better ^_^  
4. I couple together Dynamo x Foter. If you hate this, turn back now.

~:: Proceed With Caution ::~

Forte arose from his bed to the sound of his brother, Zero, sparring below in the basement. "Hello, brother" said Forte as he drew the black robe dotted with roses around his nude body. "Good morning," said Zero, looking up from his sparring partner, whom was X. X couldn't say anything, for he had lost his voice during the final battle with Sigma. His sweet, masculine voice would not be heard by anyone ever again. Never. Yes, he is a reploid, but his voice is so unique, it could not be reparied. No, ever. Not ever again.

X smiled a sweet smile and gave a simple nod. He was a mind reader, and knew Forte wanted breakfast, so he went upstairs to cook. "X is great," said Forte with his wild and energetic grin. "Aren't you going to ask him out?" Zero shook his head. "No, " he said. "At least, not this week," the blond smirked.

Forte grinned and went upstairs for his breakfast. Zero put his equipment away and followed.

~::#@#::~

Lady Morgana sat at her black rosewood table, dressed in a long, black silk dress, accented with red roses of lace, and ruby jewls. Ruby earrings hung in her ears, and her silky, brown hair was pinned up above her ears.

"Dynamo," said Lady Morgana. "I heard you were a mercenary. That's right, yes?" 

"Yes," said Dynamo. "That I am!" 

Lady Morgana smirked as she ran her hand along Dynamo's chestplate. Dynamo shivered and grinned. Lady Morgana's so beautiful, he thought. He had tried to sleep with her many times, but she was not that easy.

"There's someone I want you to get rid of, Dynamo," she said. I want you to get rid of this fellow, Forte."

She held up a picture of Forte. Dynamo's eyes widened.

"This could not be..." he thought. "Forte...was my old...*lover*..."

"Well?" asked Lady Morgana. "Will you do it." 

"No," said Dynamo.

Lady Morgana grabbed Dynamo and inserted a chip into is armor. "Now, " she said. "If you try to remove that chip, you'll explode. However, if you kill forte for me, I'll remove the chip from you safely."

Dynamo agreed to kill Forte.

~::#@#::~

"Hey, said Forte, as he walked up to Dynamo. They were both wearing all black, their favorite color. Forte sat next to his lover, and kissed his cheek. Dynamo, hesitant, didn't kiss back. 

"What's the matter?" asked Forte, concerned about his lover. "You're not usually like this."

"I've gotta leave soon, Forte," said Dynamo. "A man hired me for a lot of money to fight in a war...I signed up years ago..."

"What??" asked Forte. "You're...leaving me for this??"

"I'm sorry," said Dynamo. "I signed a contract in blood..." Dynamo held Forte's chin in his hand and met his grey eyes with forte's blue. "Remeber," said Dynamo. "I'll always love you."

Forte shivered. He couldn't belive this was happening all so suddenly. He wept as he and Dynamo spent their final moments together...

~::#@#::~

Dynamo peeked through the glass and saw Forte wandering around the room. "My lover.........................." he muttered. "My lover...I can't kill you...I musn't..."

Forte threw his robe off, once again revealing his nude body. Dynamo became immediately aroused. Without thinkining, he leapt through the window, glass shatterign around him. 

Forte gasped, and was shocked to see whom it was. His lover! His old lover! Forte was happy and leapt on him.

Dynamo remained speechless.

"DYNAMO!" Forte shouted. "I *knew* you would return to me. I missed you so much!"

Dynamo becan to sob. He was having inner conflict...

"If I kill him," thought Dynamo, "I'll live...but...I cannot live knowing what I've done to my one, true love..."

Dynamo gave Forte the deepest kiss he'd ever given anyone. But, without thinking, Dynamo removed the chip from his armor, taking them both...  
  
Unfortunately, right before it was removed, Zero came upstairs to check up on Forte, and he was caught up in the explosion.

~::#@#::~

Silent X never truly knew if Zero loved him, nor would he ever. The fumes from the explosion eventually wiped out the suffering body of X, because he was already suffering from a disease that made his robot body sensitve to fumes from explosions.

~::#@#::~  
El Fin.

~:: Proluge ::~

That was my first ever Mega Man X fic! I hope to write more. I think that was my best work so far because I never tthought of the idea of making Lady Morgana so manipulative. Normally I would have her hook up with Dynamo, using him as her "toy" (^_^) but this time, I wanted it more focoused on Dynamo's and Forte's relationship.

~:: A rose for all; your death could be at anytime ::~

REAL Author's comments:

~::WTF LOL::~  
~::poppy_eater@yahoo.com::~ 


End file.
